Monday, December 26, 2011
Is There Enough AIR in the Airplane?
I am in the airport.
This is not good because I am afraid of the airport.
I am afraid of the airport because that is where they keep the airplanes.
And I am afraid of airplanes.
First Question: Why is it called an airport?
If a port is a place to house something... doesn't an airport mean they are housing air? Why would they do that? Shouldn't it be called an airplaneport?
Anyway, I am afraid of airplanes because I am afraid that they do not have enough air inside.
Now I know that sounds like a contradiction of terms. An AIRplane should have plenty of air. But I'm not so sure.
Second question: Are they making more air somewhere?
They close the doors, and then they "pressurize the cabin." What does that REALLY mean? I know they won't let us open any windows. And I know from third grade. we breathe in oxygen and we breathe out carbon dioxide. Where does the carbon dioxide go if the windows and doors are closed? I think there are vents or the air "crawls" in somewhere... Maybe? Is there a giant exchanger somewhere? Is it clear why so many of the children in my class do not do well in science?
There is a tall man sitting next to me as we wait for the air(filled)plane. He is on my flight because I saw his ticket. I am pretty sure he is reading this over my shoulder. Hey, Tall Guy! If you are tall and I am not, are you going to breathe more of my air? Is that really fair? If he sits next to me on the plane, I am going to ask for a seat change next to someone shorter who will breathe less of my air.
Third question: How do kids figure things out so quickly?
I am going to Washington (state) to visit my dear friend. That's why I have to go on an airplane--and I don't like that idea any more than I did when I started writing this post twenty minutes ago (I type REALLY slowly). My dear friend is the mother of my nieces. I've always been "Auntie Kim." Two years ago, the younger of the nieces told me that I was not their aunt. I said, "How do you know that?" She said, "You are not my mother's sister and you are not my father's sister, so you are not our aunt." In the previous eight years, I spent a lot of time worrying that I would spill the beans about Santa, the Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy. And they figure out that I am not the Aunt before I even have a story ready! Thankfully, they let me BE an Aunt if even if I am not REALLY the Aunt. (I am capitalizing Aunt even though I know I should not--but I think Aunts are important--especially if you need to get on a plane to be one which means you should get a capital letter, even if it just for bravery.)
I love my "nieces" like crazy! They like to play board games with me and sometimes they let me win--but not very often, because they are good at games and I am not, so even when they try to let me win, I usually lose anyway... which is also okay because when we play games, we often have snacks, and I am a big fan of snacks.
It is almost time for the air(fullyfilled)plane to get here. It is not yet six in the morning... where has my plane been? I hope they were getting extra air. I should say something about teaching, because this purports to be a blog about teaching. Or do I purport it to be a teaching blog? I guess I'm not sure what that word means or who is expected to do the purporting.
Here's the teaching part. My suitcase weighed 51 pounds. That meant I had to take one pound of "stuff" out of my suitcase and put it into my already stuffed backpack. Know why my suitcase is so heavy? Because I have all of the papers from my classroom for December and half of November--and I think there are some from October too, but maybe they will get sucked down that scary toilet in the plane and then I won't have to grade them.
There. I said something teacher-y. Now my conscience is at rest. Except for the worry that there can't possibly be enough air on that airplane plane for a really scared teacher with too many papers!
I know this is not like my "normal" posts and instead sounds like Iamtalkingreallyfast, but that's because I am really scared.
And now they want people to go ON the plane even though it is 45 minutes EARLY...
Wish me luck.
PS I didn't check for typos because I was FREAKING OUT. I hope you can read gibberish...