Monday, December 26, 2011

Is There Enough AIR in the Airplane?

I am in the airport.
This is not good because I am afraid of the airport.
I am afraid of the airport because that is where they keep the airplanes.
And I am afraid of airplanes.
First Question: Why is it called an airport?
If a port is a place to house something... doesn't an airport mean they are housing air? Why would they do that? Shouldn't it be called an airplaneport?

Anyway, I am afraid of airplanes because I am afraid that they do not have enough air inside.
Now I know that sounds like a contradiction of terms. An AIRplane should have plenty of air. But I'm not so sure.

Second question: Are they making more air somewhere?
They close the doors, and then they "pressurize the cabin." What does that REALLY mean? I know they won't let us open any windows. And I know from third grade. we breathe in oxygen and we breathe out carbon dioxide. Where does the carbon dioxide go if the windows and doors are closed? I think there are vents  or the air "crawls" in somewhere... Maybe?  Is there a giant exchanger somewhere? Is it clear why so many of the children in my class do not do well in science?

There is a tall man sitting next to me as we wait for the air(filled)plane. He is on my flight because I saw his ticket.  I am pretty sure he is reading this over my shoulder.  Hey, Tall Guy!  If you are tall and I am not, are you going to breathe more of my air?  Is that really fair?  If he sits next to me on the plane, I am going to ask for a seat change next to someone shorter who will breathe less of my air.

Third question:  How do kids figure things out so quickly?
I am going to Washington (state) to visit my dear friend. That's why I have to go on an airplane--and I don't like that idea any more than I did when I started writing this post twenty minutes ago (I type REALLY slowly).  My dear friend is the mother of my nieces. I've always been "Auntie Kim." Two years ago, the younger of the nieces told me that I was not their aunt. I said, "How do you know that?" She said, "You are not my mother's sister and you are not my father's sister, so you are not our aunt." In the previous eight years, I spent a lot of time worrying that I would spill the beans about Santa, the Easter bunny or the Tooth  Fairy.  And they figure out that I am not the Aunt before I even have a story ready!  Thankfully, they let me BE an Aunt if even if I am not REALLY the Aunt.  (I am capitalizing Aunt even though I know I should not--but I think Aunts are important--especially if you need to get on a plane to be one which means you should get a capital letter, even if it just for bravery.)

I love my "nieces" like crazy! They like to play board  games with me and sometimes they let me win--but not very often, because they are good at games and I am not, so even when they try to let me win, I usually lose anyway... which is also okay because when we play games, we often have snacks, and I am a big fan of snacks.

It is almost time for the air(fullyfilled)plane to get here.  It is not yet six in the morning... where has my plane been? I hope they were getting extra air. I should say something about teaching, because this purports to be a blog about teaching.  Or do I purport it to be a teaching blog?  I guess I'm not sure what that word means or who is expected to do the purporting.

Here's the teaching part.  My suitcase weighed 51 pounds.  That meant I had to take one pound of "stuff" out of my suitcase and put it into my already stuffed backpack.  Know why my suitcase is so heavy?  Because I have all of the papers from my classroom for December and half of November--and I think there are some from October too, but maybe they will get sucked down that scary toilet in the plane and then I won't have to grade them.

There.  I said something teacher-y.  Now my conscience is at rest.  Except for the worry that there can't possibly be enough air on that airplane plane for a really scared teacher with too many papers!

I  know this is not like my "normal" posts and instead sounds like Iamtalkingreallyfast, but that's because I am really scared.
And now they want people to go ON the plane even though it is 45 minutes EARLY...


Wish me luck.

PS  I didn't check for typos because I was FREAKING OUT.  I hope you can read gibberish...



  1. I HATE airplanes too, but not because I worry about how much air is on them but because I worry that they might crash. Having just spent 12 hours on two airplane rides, I can feel your pain. I hope all goes well and you have a great trip.

  2. oh Kim I'm sorry! I really hate flying too!! Now I'll be thinking of the air in the plane in addition to the 9,457 other things I worry about when flying!! I hope your flight goes nice and smoothly and that you have a wonderful time with your friend. Thanks for the sweet comment, talk to you soon!

  3. I hate flying too and I could feel my anxiety just reading your post. But, I wish I was on that flight. My family lives in WA/OR and I miss them like crazy!

    I hope you enjoy your trip!

  4. haha you're too funny! I LOVE flying!!! I've been flying transatlantic, 14 hour flights alone since the 1st grade (with no adults). As soon as I see an airplane I get sleepy and knowck out in my seat before we even take off and wake up only when we land :)

    Have a safe flight & enjoy the girls!!!!

    ❤ Mor Zrihen ❤
    A Teacher's Treasure

  5. Kim, you are cracking me up! I don't really like to fly, either, but I do enjoy the uninterrupted time to read. But I don't understand how it all works and I have to concentrate very hard on not thinking about it or I will start to freak out. I wish I could sit next to you on the plane because you know you would get all my extra air. :)
    Have fun with your friend and "nieces"!!!!
    A Teeny Tiny Teacher

  6. I hate flying but would like for my piles of papers to get "lost"! Thank you for the sweet comment on my blog! Have a fun time!

    Heather's Heart

  7. haha! You crack me up!! I like you more and more every time I see you post or comment! I just gave you a little shout out in my post, so hopefully that will help get you some more followers :) Hope you handle your flight in the air(filled)plane! :)

    ♥ Jen Ross
    The Teachers' Cauldron

  8. Ha! I feel your pain! I am afraid of flying too. Except I am terrified that the plane will be hijacked or crash...everyone thinks this is silly....but seriously it makes me a wreck everytime I have to fly. Cannot believe you took papers to grade...but it did make me think when am I going to work on my SmartBoard slides for next week... :)
    Enjoy the rest of your break!

  9. Kim! I hope you had a super safe flight...I'm guessing you will read this after your flight as landed...unless you went on Virgin Airlines in which you would have had internet on the airplane and then you would want to fly ALL THE TIME just so you could blog stalk while flying. Did I just make flying a little more thrilling for you!?!? I hope so! Also, thank you for the super sweet comment on my post! And it was funny. You made me laugh at the ungodly hour of 9am on a Monday of vacation! Thank you for that!! Hope you have a wonderful time with your nieces!!

  10. I know you will be safe and sound! Have a great flight! Breathe deeply...really. You will have all the air you need.
    Take Care and HAVE grading allowed!

  11. Oh I am so sorry you were scared! I hope you have arrived safely to your destination. Thank you for stopping by to wish me a Merry Christmas. I hope you have had a wonderful break!

  12. Oh, my dear friend. First things first, my husband says to tell you that they vent air from the outside into the cabin, and indeed, there is plenty, unless you go too high because there is less and less oxygen the higher you get . . . he wants to know at what altitude were you flying. Oh, and he adds that now you ought to be able to breathe more easily on your return flight, provided you aren't too high. (that's a scientist for you!)

    Me? I was shopping yesterday so I missed the hilarity until just now and I'm not kidding when I said I was laughing so hard I needed a kleenex!! I could relate to removing a pound of stuff and could hardly read on because my belly hurt from the laughter. Seriously, I was C.r.Y.i.N.g. I was laughing SO hard. Then when I couldn't stop crying I realized it's because you were scared . . . there goes that empathy thing again. What GREAT voice this piece has!!!

    Here's to an amazing time for a dear AUNT who deserves ALL caps,


  13. Oh, Kim! I love flying but I feel for you! No one should be getting any extra air! Although, I was going to say that I'm pretty sure that when you turn on the little fan thing above your head, it must be air from the outside. Barbara's comment seems to reassure me of that, so hopefully you are reassured that you will have enough air for your flight home.

    And what is that tall guy doing reading over your shoulder?! That's something that bothers me about tall people, they can see everything AND try to suck up your air! (Can you tell I'm not very tall..actually quite short and I am suddenly concerned that my super tall fiance is taking up my air as I type this.. and probably reading over my shoulder)

    Anyways, I wrote too much. I stopped by to tell you I nominated you for the Liebster Award. Go check out my blog for the details and to read your shout out. :)

  14. Hi Kim! I'm glad you made it safely! I TOO HATE TO FLY! In fact i am taking the train across country this summer to avoid at least one trip on the plane (I'm flying back....). Anyway, LOVE THE BLOG! I taught 6th grade for the last two years and recently returned to where I belong...4th grade!!! i look forward to reading more posts : )

    Ms. Wainwright


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